Yes We Can (Get Away with Ballot Stuffing)!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was re-elected as president of Iran this week to the surprise of none and the chagrin of many. Unfortunately, as the recent outbreaks of riots would suggest, almost half the population turned out to be sore losers. The rest, though, feel it was a fair win and that’s what matters Finally a democratic system the people of Iran can count on!

So how did he do it, you may wonder. How did he win over all those votes? Why, by reusing the inspirational slogan of Obama’s campaign, “Yes We Can!”. On top of that he passed out some potatoes, thus winning the love and respect of the majority of the country’s population. Because who could resist voting for such a hip and progressive dude? He’s even reconsidered his initial claim that Iranian homosexuals do not exist, admitting there is a possibility of a few of them out there, it’s just that they look nothing like real Iranians so he couldn’t tell at first. Can’t blame him for that!

He also wears cool jackets without ties causing some to mistake him for a tool when in fact it’s just that he can’t and won’t hide how suave and indifferent he is.

He’s the smooth care-free yet super smart stud who strolls in 15 minutes late on a test he didn’t study for, stubble and collar popped, slinks into his seat, pulls the pencil out from behind his ear, and aces it. Then he slams his fist down onto the desk all Fonzie-like, propelling the pencil right back in place behind the ear and he leaves first, motorcycle helmet in hand. He’s the kindhearted rebel that gives away potatoes. This re-election will also give him that second chance to prove to the rest of the world that he’s not an arrogant, self-interested ass. He’s hands down the best candidate for the job and that’s why he got it.

Cool, smart…enough, and a little bit generous, wow, way to go Iran! Now if only the party-poopers of the population took a cue from us Americans and kept their mouths shut about all this election rigging nonsense.